Zeus. Is. Dead.
I can’t quite tell you when Zeus first entered my life—but I do know it took me a while to truly appreciate him. For years, he sat quietly in my bedside cabinet, patiently waiting for the moment I realised he was always ready when I was.
I’ve never been someone who leans heavily on toys, and I don’t pretend to be an advocate for them across the board. Everyone has their own preferences, and that’s something I respect. But I will say this—Zeus and I made an exceptional team.
There were countless nights where I’d wake, restless and needing a moment of self-soothing to drift back to sleep. In those moments, he became the simplest, most reliable answer.
What I appreciated most was his dependability—no interruptions, no letdowns. He was always ready, always consistent. And while perhaps a little larger than necessary, that never mattered. Used simply and intuitively, he delivered exactly what was needed—comfort, release, and ease.
Then came yesterday.
A curious and open-minded guest wanted to share in the experience—to witness, to understand. I agreed, and all was going perfectly… until the very end. In an unfortunate twist, as the moment passed and everything settled, Zeus didn’t quite survive the encounter intact.
Yes—his head came off. You can imagine my disbelief.
Naturally, I went searching for a replacement… only to discover the price: $549. A moment of pause, to say the least. Do I want it? Absolutely. Do I need it? That’s the real question. And yet, the pull is strong.
I’ve since learned there’s a new version being released soon, so for now, I wait—with curiosity and perhaps a little hope that it somehow improves on what already felt hard to beat.
Still, part of me isn’t ready to let go of the original. Surely, somewhere out there… someone can bring Zeus back to life.
