Intimacy Matters

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Heart Heart

The. Overnight.

On occasion there will be a request for an overnight stay - it is not something I take on willy-nilly - twelve hours can be a long time with the wrong person. Ed  is someone who has visited on and off for the past few years.  Ed  is the…
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Trauma. Healing.

Over the weekend I watched the new Kylie documentary on Netflix.  What struck me was just how confident Kylie is in everything she says and does, it is obvious, at least to me that Kylie grew up in a loving household.  I watched Kylie cavorting…
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Prostitution.

Many's the time I have had clients ask if I know this girl or that girl which I find almost laughable because I don't know a single soul who does what I do.  Perhaps it is like being a plumber and customers all imagining they know each other. …
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Porn Induced. Fetish.

In porn addiction forums online, I read all the time about teenagers who say that they have compulsively used porn and masturbation for years, starting very young. The average age for first exposure to pornography used to be 11 years old, but…
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Compulsive. Behaviour.

Some signs that one may have compulsive sexual behaviour include: Having repeated and intense sexual fantasies, urges, and behaviours that take up a lot of time and feel as if they’re beyond one’s control. Feeling driven or having frequent…
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Kink. v Fetish.

There are often areas of overlap between kinks and fetishes. Still, the key difference between the two is that a fetishist (someone with a fetish) cannot achieve pleasure or sexual arousal without their fetish object or act. The definition of…
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Male. Menopause.

Facing the reality of male menopause Male menopause, or andropause, isn’t just a myth. About 2 in 10 men over the age of 60 suffer from low testosterone levels. This number increases to 3 in 10 men in their 70s and 80s. Symptoms such as reduced…
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Female. Menopause.

Menopause is a natural, biological transition in a woman’s life that marks the end of her childbearing years. In the New Zealand, the average age of onset is 51 although it can happen in a woman’s 40s. When women enter menopause, their…
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Body. Confidence.

Body confidence isn’t just about what you see in the mirror — it’s about what’s happening in your mind. The quiet thoughts. The instant judgments. The stories we tell ourselves. “How did I let my body get like this?” “My…
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Introducing. James.

Guiding people back to connection, clarity, and confidence — through lived experience, compassion, and honest conversation. With over 45 years of life experience across different countries, cultures, and relationships, I bring a grounded,…
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Sacred. Sex.

Lately I have begun to use AI to clean up my words but I just want to ramble a bit today if you don't mind.  More often lately I have been thinking about sex in a more sacred way.  Maybe it is from spending so long enabling clients and their…
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Desire.

The Need to Feel Desired At the heart of intimacy lies a simple, powerful truth: everyone wants to feel wanted. Feeling desired isn’t just a luxury—it’s a core part of sexual connection and emotional closeness. For many…
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Sexual. Inhibitions.

Are Sexual Inhibitions Keeping Intimacy at a Distance? Do you ever feel the desire to explore, to try something new, to bring more energy into your relationship—only to pull back at the last moment? That quiet hesitation, that flicker of…
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Zeus. Is. Dead.

I can’t quite tell you when Zeus first entered my life—but I do know it took me a while to truly appreciate him. For years, he sat quietly in my bedside cabinet, patiently waiting for the moment I realised he was always ready when I was. I’ve…
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Pleasure. Mapping.

What Is Pleasure Mapping? Pleasure mapping is a gentle, exploratory practice designed to help you reconnect with your body and understand what truly feels good—without pressure, performance, or expectation. It begins as a non-sexual exercise,…
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Sex. Surrogacy.

Who Benefits from a Sexual Surrogate? Sexual surrogacy can be deeply supportive for individuals who find intimacy, connection, or relationships challenging—often through no fault of their own. Many people who seek this kind of support struggle…
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An. Apology.

Lately, I’ve found myself reflecting on the men who have come into my home—especially those who arrived carrying a quiet fear: Will I be able to perform? What if I can’t? What if it doesn’t last? And I feel I owe you an apology. Looking…
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Sexless. Relationships.

A sexless relationship can have a deep and lasting impact on a man’s emotional, mental, and physical wellbeing. When intimacy fades, it’s rarely “just about sex”—it often touches identity, connection, and a sense of…
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The Hug. Service.

The last time David had been to see me it was quite a dark experience so I had elected not to see him again but after a year or more when he contacted me again I suggested he visit my new website in order to understand that my direction had…
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Hugs. Article.

What Happens When You Don’t Get Enough Hugs? We’re wired for touch. When it’s missing, the impact isn’t just emotional—it can affect your whole sense of wellbeing. Without regular, positive physical connection, many people experience…
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Porn. My Thoughts.

I will share articles of interest and comment when I have something to say and oh boy oh boy do I have something to say about pornography.  There is a certain irony that I would feel so strongly about something that is so prevalent in the sex…
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Porn. Article.

What Is Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction? Erectile dysfunction (ED) is the inability to get and maintain an erection firm enough for satisfactory sexual performance. It affect millions of people worldwide. ED has many causes. Some experts…
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Welcome.

You'll need to forgive me the way I write - it is in the same style as I speak - jumbled and half hazard most of time. If you are here there is a reason for that.  I like to think I draw the right people into my space, that you have found…
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